Senin, 02 Oktober 2006

Conversations With God

A most incredible and amazing thing has recently happened. God has personally spoken to the Atheologist! Here are the miraculous details:
A blogger named Sheldon who is the author of a blog called, “The Humanist Observer”, recently posted a post entitled, ‘Conversations With God?’ In his post he makes reference to the, “Belief Net”, website and a survey that they have about their conversations with God. Sheldon then goes on to tell us what his questions were to God. Here are some of them:


"Why did you kill the innocent first born sons of Egypt for the wrong doing of their fathers? Why did you order and permit the Israelites to slaughter innocents in war, leaving only the virgins to live and be taken as captive wives? Wasn't that totally immoral? Why does your son say that because I simply don't believe in you, I am morally equivalent to people who do some of the most immoral things, and that I will go to hell for my disbelief? Why do you tell me to honor my parents in the 10 commandments, but then your son Jesus says that I should hate my mother and father, and other family members?"

He then goes on to say some nasty things to and about God, which the Atheologist will not print here. (Go to his post if you think you can take it.)
Lo and behold, shortly after Sheldon’s post was posted the Atheologist, who happened to be dozing in his big comfy chair after eating quite a heavy lunch, was visited in a dream by none other than God. Here is what God had to say:


“Hey Atheologist, tell Sheldon that I am very mad at him. I am not going to answer any of his silly questions because I am busy constructing a place that is much much worse than hell where he and people just like him will be sent to suffer and be tortured and burned and sliced up and sprayed with lemon juice for ever and ever,(all because I love them). Tell him that I don’t have to answer his or anyone else’s questions because I am God and it’s all part of my master plan and it will all make sense in the end for those who believe and trust in me. But I do apologize for the run on sentences. Now wake up and go tell him, you can do it in a comment on his blog if you want to.”


And that’s just what the Atheologist did, now the rest is up to Sheldon.

So what has the Atheologist learned a lot from this incident? He has learned that you do not question God. That Sheldon is not really an atheist because atheists don’t talk to God. And that God sometimes speaks to ordinary people like the Atheologist, not just the more important ones like him, him, him, him or her.

The Atheologist

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