Atheist Fools

The Atheologist recently received the following in e-mail from a co-worker:

FLORIDA COURT SETS ATHEIST HOLIDAY
In Florida, an atheist created a case against the upcoming Easter and Passover Holy days. He hired an attorney to bring a discrimination case against Christians, Jews and observances of their holy days. The argument was that it was unfair that atheists had no such recognized days.
The case was brought before a judge. After listening to the passionate presentation by the lawyer, the judge banged his gavel declaring," Case dismissed!"
The lawyer immediately stood objecting to the ruling saying, "Your honor, how can you possibly dismiss this case? The Christians have Christmas, Easter and others. The Jews have Passover, Yom Kippur and Hanukkah, yet my Client and all other atheists have no such holidays."
The judge leaned forward in his chair saying, "But you do. Your client, counsel, is woefully ignorant."
The lawyer said, "Your Honor, we are unaware of any special observance or holiday for atheists."
The judge said, "The calendar says April 1st is April Fools Day. Psalm 14:1 states, 'The fool says in his heart, there is no God.' Thus, it is the opinion of this court, that if your client says there is no God, then he is a fool. Therefore, April 1st is his day. Court is adjourned."
HOORAY FOR THAT JUDGE

What a cute little story that is, (although many atheists will scoff at being called, ‘fools’). The Atheologist has in fact discovered many YouTube videos which actually try to depict atheists as being wise rather than foolish beings. In this and this video, for example, atheists such as Albert Einstein, Thomas Edison, Ernest Hemmingway, Carl Sagan and Marie Curie among others are presented.

The Atheologist wonders - if these people were allegedly so smart why they had such a hard time picking out a religion. With so many hundreds of religions and gods to choose from, any dummy should be able to find one to his or her liking.

And you atheists out there, don’t dare point the Atheologist to the “Snopes” website which states that the above court case never happened because Snopes also states that Einstein never humiliated one of his college professors or that another college professor never dropped a piece of chalk or that a Marine never knocked out a college professor. In fact, if an atheist perused the ‘Snopes’ website, especially the, 'glurge', section, for any length of time, that atheist may come to believe that college professors don’t exist either.


Very Important:  If you don't send the above e-mail to at least 56,000 friends in the next 95 minutes, a large pigeon with diarrhea will land on your head this afternoon and the fleas from 18 camels will infest your armpits. I know this will occur because it actually happened to the Atheologist's mother-in-law's friend’s second cousin’s husband's barber.


The Atheologist

Stairway To Heaven

The other day the Atheologist was walking up one of the stairwells at his place of employment, when out of the corner of his eye he spotted something. There lying on the landing floor was a very familiar image, it was the likeness of Jesus fashioned from paint chips which had fallen off the stairwell wall. To the unimaginative or mentally stable person, they were simply paint chips arranged in a random design. But to the Atheologist it was a holy vision. Just look at his smile, it’s no wonder he’s known as ‘the light of the world’!

Now many atheists would question why God would do such a thing – tip to atheists; don’t question God, he doesn’t like it! As far as the Atheologist can tell, this is the first time our Lord has shown himself using paint chips as his media. There have been numerous occasions when Jesus, Mary and other religious celebrities have shown themselves in grilled cheese sandwiches, windows, underpasses, wood panels and even Cheetos, but never out of peeling paint.

Should anyone wish to view this miraculous icon, please contact the Atheologist who, (for a paltry $50.00 tour fee), will escort a limited number of pilgrims to this secret site. Those pilgrims of Mexican descent may bring a bottle of Tezon Blanco Tequila in lieu of the aforementioned charge. (That stuff is amazing and will aid the Atheologist in his quest for similar religious iconic experiences).
But please hurry before the maintenance crew sweeps the stairwell.

The Atheologist