Just Kidding

Well, it took a while but the Republicans have finally had enough fun and are now handing over the country to the Democrats.

It seems like a good move on the Republicans’ part, what with the mess that this country is in it may take a miracle to set it right.

A Republican friend of the Atheologist’s, (who has just turned Democrat), sent an e-mail explaining why many people like himself have switched parties at this point in time. It seems that the Republicans were just having some fun with their supporters and wanted to see how long they could keep their little joke going.

Here is his email:

Things you have to believe to be a Republican
today:

Jesus loves you, and shares your hatred of homosexuals and Hillary.

Saddam was a good guy when Reagan armed him, a bad guy when Bush's Daddy made war on him, a good guy when Cheney did business with him, and a bad guy when Dubya needed a "we can't find Bin Laden" diversion.

Trade with Cuba is wrong because the country is Communist, but trade with China and Vietnam is vital to a spirit of international harmony.

The United States should get out of the United Nations, and our highest national priority is enforcing U.N. resolutions against Iraq.

A woman can't be trusted with decisions about her own body, but multi national corporations can make decisions affecting all mankind without regulation.

The best way to improve military morale is to praise the troops in speeches, while slashing veterans' benefits and combat pay.

Keep condoms out of every drug store within walking distance of a schools. Then adolescents won't have sex.

A good way to fight terrorism is to belittle our long-time allies, then demand their cooperation and money.

Providing health care to all Iraqis is sound policy, but providing Health care to all Americans is socialism. (HMOs and insurance companies have the best interests of the public at heart.)

Global warming and tobacco's link to cancer are junk science, but creationism should be taught in schools.

A president lying about an extra-marital affair is an impeachable offense, but a president lying to enlist support for a war in which thousands die is solid defense policy.

Government should limit itself to the powers named in the Constitution, which include banning gay marriages and censoring the Internet.

The public has a right to know about Hillary's cattle trades, but George Bush's driving record is none of our business.

Being a drug addict is a moral failing and a crime, unless you're a conservative radio host. Then it's an illness and you need our prayers for your recovery.

What Bill Clinton did in the 1960s is of vital national interest, But what Bush did in the '80s is irrelevant.

The Atheologist