Yesterday, the Atheologist and a co-worker, (we’ll call him ‘Joe’), were watching CNN when coverage of OJ Simpson’s release from prison, (after the alleged Las Vegas hotel incident), suddenly eclipsed all other news items. As we stared at the screen together, ‘Joe’, suddenly started screaming at the television set. Most of Joe’s vocal outburst is not suitable for young readers and won’t be documented here. And when the Atheologist switched the channel to FOX ‘news’ and he saw the split screen coverage of OJ’s vehicle making its way through the streets of Las Vegas, he really lost it.
Now the Atheologist totally understood how ‘Joe’, was feeling, but he and others like him must understand that the American news media will never deprive the American people of news stories that really matter. ‘Joe’, was probably concerned that he would be denied news of the latest thing to go in or come out of Paris Hilton’s mouth. Did Britney get wasted and puke again? What about K-Fed? Did Michael Jackson really kill JonBenet Ramsey? Is JLO's ass getting bigger? And did Joey Buttafuoco molest the Olsen twins again?
No, ‘Joe’, needn’t worry when the latest OJ incident, (clip here), temporarily overshadows other equally or even more important news stories such as the ones mentioned above. Our great professional American journalists are experts at prioritizing news stories and always make space for the important ones.
What Joe may also not realize is what MSNBC, CNN, FOX and all the other major news outlets were most likely looking for as OJ made his exit from the slammer. What they and the Atheologist were hoping to see was the slightest hint of what has become a common occurrence with many celebrities when they have been caught in sticky situations. Did or didn’t OJ find Jesus during his short stint in jail? Has he accepted JC as his personal savior, the way that he accepted, and was saved by another ‘JC’, the late Johnnie Cochran, the last time that he found himself in a pickle?
Alas it was not to be; there was no crucifix around his neck, no Bible in his hand. Did he forget Jesse Jackson, Bill Clinton, Paris Hilton, Michael Vick and the many others who have invoked the name of God or Jesus in their times of need, and times of good fortune?
Ever since Mother Theresa lost Jesus and became an Atheist, it seems to be very easy for a public personality to locate him. Did he even look? Maybe he’s hoping that Johnny will be rising from the dead in time to save him once again.
As a side note, Johnny Cochran’s final words are rumored to be:
“Tumor in your head? Man, soon you'll be dead” or “If my heart don't beat, cover me with a sheet” or "If the body don't stir, you must inter" to which God replied: “If you help a double murderer,
heaven's a whole lot furtherer”.
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