Conversations With God

A most incredible and amazing thing has recently happened. God has personally spoken to the Atheologist! Here are the miraculous details:
A blogger named Sheldon who is the author of a blog called, “The Humanist Observer”, recently posted a post entitled, ‘Conversations With God?’ In his post he makes reference to the, “Belief Net”, website and a survey that they have about their conversations with God. Sheldon then goes on to tell us what his questions were to God. Here are some of them:

"Why did you kill the innocent first born sons of Egypt for the wrong doing of their fathers? Why did you order and permit the Israelites to slaughter innocents in war, leaving only the virgins to live and be taken as captive wives? Wasn't that totally immoral? Why does your son say that because I simply don't believe in you, I am morally equivalent to people who do some of the most immoral things, and that I will go to hell for my disbelief? Why do you tell me to honor my parents in the 10 commandments, but then your son Jesus says that I should hate my mother and father, and other family members?"

He then goes on to say some nasty things to and about God, which the Atheologist will not print here. (Go to his post if you think you can take it.)
Lo and behold, shortly after Sheldon’s post was posted the Atheologist, who happened to be dozing in his big comfy chair after eating quite a heavy lunch, was visited in a dream by none other than God. Here is what God had to say:

“Hey Atheologist, tell Sheldon that I am very mad at him. I am not going to answer any of his silly questions because I am busy constructing a place that is much much worse than hell where he and people just like him will be sent to suffer and be tortured and burned and sliced up and sprayed with lemon juice for ever and ever,(all because I love them). Tell him that I don’t have to answer his or anyone else’s questions because I am God and it’s all part of my master plan and it will all make sense in the end for those who believe and trust in me. But I do apologize for the run on sentences. Now wake up and go tell him, you can do it in a comment on his blog if you want to.”

And that’s just what the Atheologist did, now the rest is up to Sheldon.

So what has the Atheologist learned a lot from this incident? He has learned that you do not question God. That Sheldon is not really an atheist because atheists don’t talk to God. And that God sometimes speaks to ordinary people like the Atheologist, not just the more important ones like him, him, him, him or her.

The Atheologist

A Page On Mark Foley

Congressman Mark Foley, (Republican from the Sixteenth Congressional District of Florida who built his political career as a protector of children), has abruptly resigned after many years of service. He resigned after he came under scrutiny for sending questionable emails and instant messages to a 16-year-old page. Many of his constituents and others have had unkind words for, and are distancing themselves from the congressman.

The Atheologist on the other hand, applauds Foley, who is well known for his great work in helping exploited children, especially in the area of pedophilia. The Atheologist feels that Foley never should have resigned. Transcripts of his instant message exchanges show his great interest, passion and penetrating love of young, (male), adolescents. The Atheologist does not understand where all of Foley's friends in the, “Family Values”, party are and why they aren’t standing behind this great man. Foley in the past has received high ratings from the Christian Coalition and helped write laws to shield youths on the Internet from what he described as "sick people."

All is not lost for Foley though. Due to his many years of service on the Washington scene he is surely very skilled in the ins and outs and workings of the politics inside the Beltway. The Atheologist predicts a future career as a lobbyist, or something more hands on*, for Foley, possibly with a youth group such as NAMBLA.

*One of the Atheologist's many sources has told the Atheologist that Foley isn't just very computer savy, but is a very hands on type of a guy. That information should become public knowledge shortly.


Here’s a video tribute to Foley.

The Atheologist

Benny and Mo and the Religion of Peace

Pope Benedict XVI has apologized for offending Muslims and Islam, (the religion of peace), in a speech in Bavaria last week. He said the medieval text which he quoted did not express in any way his personal opinion, adding the speech was an invitation to respectful dialogue. The Pope has been under intense scrutiny amid angry reactions from throughout the Muslim, (the followers of the ‘religion of peace’), world.
The murder of an Italian nun and her bodyguard in Somalia may be linked to Muslim anger in reaction to the Pope’s speech. And yesterday the surge of violence continued. Two churches in the West Bank were set on fire, following five incidents in the West Bank and Gaza on Saturday, when five churches were firebombed and fired at.
In an internet statement, an al Qaeda linked militant group vowed a war against the, "worshippers of the cross", in response to the pope's speech. The Mujahideen Shura Council, according to Reuters, had this to say:

"We tell the worshipper of the cross (the Pope) that you and the West will be defeated, as is the case in Iraq, Afghanistan, Chechnya,…We shall break the cross and spill the wine....God will (help) Muslims to conquer Rome. ... God enable us to slit their throats, and make their money and descendants the bounty of the mujahideen."

It is obvious to the Atheologist that Muslims the world over have such a deep respect for and value so highly what the Pope has to say about their, “religion of peace”, that he has the ability to turn Muslims away from their peaceful, loving and respectful ways. It seems to the Atheologist that the Pope now has a lot more to apologize for. He needs to apologize for not apologizing quickly enough and now he needs to apologize for all of the violence and killings that have occurred and are still occurring, all due, as the Atheologist sees it, to his lack of understanding of Muslims and their, “religion of peace”.

The Atheologist

Is There A Doctor In The House?

Back in July, Zimbabwe lifted the ban on the practice of witchcraft. (Exodus 22:18 be damned!) The Zimbabwean government acknowledged that supernatural powers exist - but prohibits the use of magic to cause someone harm. The new ruling also reversed the 1899 legislation that made it a crime to accuse someone of being a witch or wizard.

The president of the country, who has been in power for 26 years, is Robert Mugabe, popularly known as just, “Bob.” The Atheologist applauded Bob and his constituents back then for having the guts to show that religious discrimination is wrong. Freedom of religion means freedom for all religions, even Black Magic, not just the more popular ones.

Now more great news from Zimbabwe - witch doctors, are going to be permitted to give patients official sick days, which will be recognized by employers. The Atheologist thinks that this is a great idea. I know that if I’m under someone’s spell, the last thing I would want to do is go into work and spread my nasty spell amongst my co-workers, even if I still had my penis.

The Atheologist

Kathleen Harris and The Red Sea Pedestrians

Florida Congresswoman Kathleen Harris recently told the Florida Baptist Witness that – 1) separation of church, state is “a lie”, 2) God and America's founding fathers did not intend the country to be "a nation of secular laws", and 3) "only Christians should be elected to public office in the USA". For some reason, there was quite a hullabaloo. The loudest outcry came from Congresswoman Debbie Wasserman Schultz, a Florida Democrat who is Jewish, she told the Orlando Sentinel that she was "disgusted" by Harris's comments.

The Atheologist is having a hard time understanding why some Jews would have a problem with Ms. Harris’ pro-Christian comments. Could it be possible that this is a form of anti-Christianism? Isn't it the Christians who always remind everyone that an atheist should not "be considered as citizens", and therefore never be elected to public office. Wasn’t it the Christians who fought to have “In God We Trust”, printed on our currency and stamped on our coins? Wasn’t it the Christians who had the words, “under God”, inserted into the pledge of allegiance? And isn’t it the Christians who are trying to have this country return to its Judeo-Christian roots by having for example - the ten commandments displayed in every public space possible? “What part of Judeo- Christian”, are these Jews not seeing? And come to think of it, didn’t God hand off the ten commandments to Moses, who happened to be Jewish himself?

I mean is the Atheologist the only one who thinks that it is possible Ms. Wasserman Schultz is overreacting just a bit and maybe guily of being a little too pro-Semitic? The Jews have the honor of being God’s chosen people. As far as the Atheologist knows, they have more holidays than any other religion on earth. And we all know that everyone likes a good bagel. Isn’t that enough for them? That is only one of the Atheologist's many Jewish questions.

P.S. Here's just one example of the many unselfish good deeds that Christians have done for the Jewish people.

The Kabbalah Cleaning Service

As many of you have heard, pop diva Madonna, along with husband Guy Ritchie, have been lobbying the British government to use a powerful Kabbalah fluid to clean up radioactive waste.

The couple, both followers of the Jewish spiritual movement Kabbalah, approached Downing Street, Whitehall and British Nuclear Fuels , promoting an idea on a way to clean up radioactive waste using a "mystical" liquid which has already been tested successfully in a Russian lake. This very special water according to Kabbalah beliefs, “can receive magic healing powers through meditation and the consciousness of sharing”. That sounds very reasonable and logical to the Atheologist. But why would the “Material Girl” limit this magic cleaning solution to only cleaning up radioactive waste.

Why stop there? The world has so many other pesky problems that also need addressing. The Atheologist can think of a few: How about using it for that cloudy pool water, as a mouthwash for those, ‘bad breath germs’, that mildew problem in the bathroom that you can’t seem to get rid of, cleaning computer keyboards, ring around the collar and our Sicilian friends may be interested in using it to removing those annoying blood stains from the carpeting.

The Atheologist has a few suggestions on what to name this cleansing wonder. How about, ‘True Blue’ or ‘Like a Prayer’ or so there’s no beating around the bush, ‘Cleaning and Radioactivity de-Actifying Kabbalah Powered Treatment Solution’, or “CRAKPOTS” for short.

Mel Gibson In Rehab

Mel Gibson entered a rehab program after his arrest on suspicion of driving under the influence of alcohol, his publicist said Monday.
The Australian-raised actor-director's publicist, Alan Nierob, told AP that Gibson, 50, was in bad shape and very sorry for the alleged bad judgment he made when he allegedly drove his car while he was allegedly drunk.
But Gibson's alleged outburst, which included a comment that "Jews are responsible for all the wars in the world", has caused public outrage. Gibson already had been accused of anti-Semitism in his movie, The Passion of the Christ. For some, his alleged drunken tirade confirmed the allegations were true.
But Gibson’s publicist has relayed a second apology from Gibson stating that he never meant for anyone to hear what he had said about the Jews and that goes double for those, “Jews For Jesus”, Hebes - the Christ killers who obviously have mended their ways.

The Atheologist suspects that being the devout Christian that he is, at least he won't struggle, (like an atheist would), with that part of the 12 steps concerning acceptance of a higher power.

The Atheologist